The new 'DINK' family in China

Double Income, No Kid (DINK) couples are not prevailing. A DINK family is one that has made the conscious decision not to have a child. However, studies have found that in the end, most of these DINK couples are eventually electing to have a child.

Many of these former DINK couples can be found in cities. The number of childless women over 35 has been rising steadily and many of these are one half of a DINK family. However, for a variety of reasons, many of these couples eventually forego their DINK status. By this time however, their best childbearing years are behind them, which has had an effect on mothers, children, families and society to a certain extent.

Lili is a stockbroker; her husband is an official in a government department. The couple decided to have a baby nine years after they married. When they married in 1996, they had no particular reason for remaining childless; they just both preferred a simple life. At the time, Lili and her husband were both on a high salary. They both had a high income. They bought a small villa in the suburbs before their marriage, and since then have bought a car to make commuting to and from work more convenient. They lived happily for some years, during which time they considered having a child, but were reluctant to give up their easy life.

In 2004, the couple finally decided to have a child. At the end of 2005, 34-year-old Lili gave birth prematurely to a healthy baby girl. The couple's life of leisure came to an end. The focus of their life is now the baby, with whom they spend almost all their time.

"The physical exhaustion is bearable but the economic pressure is incredibly difficult."

The couple, who are accustomed to spending all their earnings, are now anxious about what they spend on their daughter, because they have not saved much money over the years.

In fact, couples who have a baby past the age of 35 face enormous economic pressure. The cost of raising a child is significant in most families. Between 35 and 55 it is vital that people begin saving money for retirement. However, if there is a child to care for, finances become a dilemma. If funds aren't allocated properly, either the child will not get a good education or the parents will have to work longer to provide for themselves.

Chinese-style DINKs

People born in the 1970s and 1980s often follow the traditional Chinese pattern of life - they have a child, hopefully a son to carry on the family name, and build a career. However, these young people often ask their parents to take care of the child, either because they don't know how to themselves or because they are busy working. This group of people can go on enjoying a relatively free and easy life, in some ways holding on to their DINK lifestyle.

Busy with work

Mr. Zheng, who works in Xiamen in southeast Fujian Province with his wife, has just sent his daughter to live with his parents in his hometown in northeast China. He said that his mother looked after his daughter when he and his wife still worked in his hometown. They went to Xiamen in search of a better life. They brought their daughter with them and tried to make arrangements for her, but their busy work schedules made it impossible for them to take care of her. So they sent her back to his old parents.

Unable to attend to a child

"My baby lives with my mother. In my mother's eyes, I am still like a child. I enjoy activities like shopping. I still do many of the things I did during school, such as go out dancing, skate boarding and rock-climbing. Sometimes I scream when I see a black beetle,"said 24-year-old Xiaobei.

Obviously, Xiaobei is still a child at heart. As an only child, she was coddled from childhood and has never washed dishes. Xiaobei's mother moved in with Xiaobei and her husband after she retired. However, her mother can't get used to the young couple's living habits and Xiaobei and her husband can't bear to hear the baby crying at night. So it was decided that Xiaobei's mother should take the baby to her own home.

Childless couples under pressure from their parents

Xiao Huang and Xiao Yan have a full schedule, and they often arrange with friends to go out. Life looks to be fairly easy for them, but in fact they have a three-year-old son who is cared for by his grandparents.

"We used to want to be a DINK couple, or perhaps wait until we were older, 35, before we became parents. However, my mother-in-law demanded that we have a child earlier. She and my father-in-law are willing to look after the child for us," said Xiao Yan.

She also said jokingly that her son was born for her parents. She and her husband are happy with the current situation because their parents have promised to pay for and take responsibility for the child's upbringing.

Comment

Although they are free of the day-to-day childcare responsibilities, these young parents sometimes feel empty inside. A direct effect of the Chinese-style DINK syndrome is alienation between parents and child.

Some think this emptiness has a worse on effect on parents than the child, because the child has the redeeming love of its grandparents. Unfortunately, if parents are absent during the child's early years, they often entirely miss the chance to bond with them.

"DingChong" - a DINK couple with a pet

"DingChong" is the term for a DINK couple which has a pet and care for it as though it were a child.

Mr. Pan and Yajing are both white-collar workers with a stable job and good income. They were married five years ago. They decided not to have a baby because of work pressures. However, they gradually began to feel that something was missing in their lives, and they bought a small cat for fun.

The small cat breaks up the monotony of their life. The young couple treats it just like a child. They built a small bed beside their own in their living room and buy high-quality products for the cat. Yajing spends a lot of time dressing up the cat and taking photos of it. She stores these photos on the computer and looks at them with her husband in her spare time. They have a lot of fun raising the cat.

Earlier this year, they adopted a dog from a friend. The dog is youthful and healthy. Mr. Pan treats it as his new-born son. Plenty of food, new toys and clothes are bought for the dog.

"The cat and dog are just like my daughter and son. I am satisfied because the feelings I have for our pets are similar to those I would have for a child"said Mr. Pan.

By People's Daily Online